by Emma
There are many external factors that can hold us back from achieving our goals. Time, resources, access to skills, you name it.
We’ve also talked previously about one of the main internal barriers to success – the way that we talk to ourselves.
This week, we’re exploring another internal barrier.
Fear.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
When we consider fear in relation to goals we might think of:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of making fools of ourselves
- Fear of that we don’t know enough
These are valid responses and there are some approaches that you can take that can help. For example, if you are afraid of failure or making a fool of yourself, you can develop your mindset to assume the very best outcome and develop a detailed plan of action that you can follow in order to achieve it.
We’ll be sharing our top tips and techniques to cultivating a positive mindset in this countdown to your best 2020, so be sure to sign up and follow this blog.
But what about your deeper fears? The ones that hold you back from that promotion you want to go for, the side hustle you want to start, or holding you back from returning to work after a career break?
SOUND FAMILIAR?
Do any of these sound familiar to you? Are you afraid of:
- Not being enough?
- Being judged by other women for your life/career choices?
- Being judged by other women for putting your career/business ambitions above your family/partner? For putting yourself first?
- Appearing less than completely confident at all times?
- Not knowing how to dress for your new role?
- Not knowing if your skills and experience are enough?
- Being out-of-touch with the latest developments in your industry?
You’re not alone.
And you don’t need to be afraid.
YOUR FEARLESS ACTION PLAN – 5 THINGS TO DO TODAY
Let us get the bad news out of the way here… there is no magic pill or strategy to eliminate these fears overnight. Sorry.
But the good news is that there are things that you can do to overcome these fears over time.
And, even better news, there are five things that you can do RIGHT NOW to start your journey.
1 – BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR GOAL
Tell us what you want (what you really, really want) *are Spice Girl lyrics acceptable in 2019???*
What is your true goal? Do you want your own office, financial independence, a better work/life balance?
Thought of it? Good, now…
2 – BE REALLY CLEAR ABOUT YOUR WHY
Why is that goal so important to you? Will your own office bring you validation? Will financial independence address a deep-routed fear that you have about having to rely on anyone else for money? Will a better work/life balance give you the time you need to write that book you always wanted to write?
There is no wrong answer here. And the clarity that comes from knowing your real ‘why’ will keep you motivated in the face of fear.
3 – DO A SKILLS AND ATTRIBUTES AUDIT
Now you know what you want… and why… let’s take a look at all of the reasons that you are absolutely THE best person on the planet to achieve that goal.
This exercise has previously been described to me as the root canal of all self reflection activities… but please, just go with it.
Take a piece of paper and start writing every single skill and attribute that you have in relation to your goal. No skill or attribute is better than any other. Your ability to manage a household budget or project manage a renovation should sit very comfortably on your list right next to your degree or work experience. Are you a great listener, a fabulous host, the mother of all planners? Write it all down.
Feeling stuck? Ask your family and friends for their take (and pay it forward by reminding them why you think they are great).
Review your list for any gaps and make a plan for how you will close them.
Every time you learn a new skill, add it to your list. And refer to it every time you need to be reminded how absolutely fabulous you are.
4 – GET YOUR GEEK ON
Want to feel more confident about your industry knowledge? Listen to every podcast, read every article and talk to everyone you know. Ask friends in your industry what keeps them awake at night or what they’re most excited about.
Binge on information but always reflect on what you’ve listened to, read or heard. What have you learned? What do you think?
5 – EMBRACE YOUR INNER COPY CAT
So, your goal is set, it is underpinned by a meaningful ‘why’, you know that you’ve got the skills you need to go for it (or you know how/when you’re going to get them) and you’re inhaling as much industry information as you can get your hands on.
Internally, you are are well on your way. Now for the bow on top. If you’re afraid of not dressing appropriately for the promotion, return to work, or side-hustle that you want, I want you to embrace your inner copy cat.
Whose style do you admire? Who always looks like they are ready to take on the world in your industry or line of work? What is it about their style that you admire? And can you replicate it in your own way?
This isn’t a long-term strategy, after all, you did not wake up today to be a copy of someone else. But it can be a terrific start towards finding your own style.
F.E.A.R. has two meanings –
Forget Everything And Run
OR
Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours.
Whatever your goal, know that you are enough. And if you are facing – or have overcome – your own fears right now, and want to share, we’d love to hear from you below.
Next week we’ll be looking at how to give yourself permission to move on from feeling fear to visualising success.
If you can’t wait until next week, you can find us over on our Facebook page.
Lucy and Emma | The Communication Coaches